Back in 1982, a small construction paper book titled, “Deaths of Horrible Opera Singers” caused a stir in a small Midwestern elementary school. Encouraged, I went on to write such perennial classics such as, “The Dead Chicken’s Revenge,” “Lars, the Pig with No Skin,” and “The Unicorn who Overdosed on Diet Pepsi.”

Each week, you, too can share in the delight of irreverent tales of plucky-yet-strangely-disturbing animal heroes. Don’t be fooled by cheap imitators such as those sly Brothers Grimm and their so-called “fairy tales.” This is the real deal. Enjoy.

(If you’re thinking about reading these to your kids, please reconsider unless your little urchin has caused a stir in his or her elementary school with similar construction paper books.)