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	<title>Splarks Blog &#187; Self-Improvement</title>
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	<link>http://splarks.com/blog</link>
	<description>Short fiction involving marsupials, mad scientists, pez dispensers, good critters gone bad, irreverent behavior, unfortunate names, and existential crises.  Funny, bizarre stories and WTF humor.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:00:29 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Rockstar Betty vs. Opposable Thumbs</title>
		<link>http://splarks.com/blog/2011/10/05/rockstar-betty-vs-opposable-thumbs/</link>
		<comments>http://splarks.com/blog/2011/10/05/rockstar-betty-vs-opposable-thumbs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>splarks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bizarre Animal Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faery humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faery stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fairy stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[groupies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[National Geographic humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rockstars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rodent Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weasel humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weird animal stories]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://splarks.com/blog/?p=427</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Rockstar Betty was a weasel--a hardcore weasel-- and she was not about to take any shit from any punk-ass bitches who got between her and stardom.  It was tough out there in a man's world; a weasel had to work damned hard to make it to the top.  Voice lessons.  English lessons.  The endless hours of starving herself and getting her makeup done.  One particular evening when she found herself yet again spending another lonely night practicing her various poses (such as "Sexy Weasel" and "Tough Weasel" and "Thank-you-for-the-Grammy-dahling-Weasel"), her annoying younger brother poked his nose into her burrow... (Visit Splarks.com to read it all!)


No related posts.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>When Pigeons Get Lawyers</title>
		<link>http://splarks.com/blog/2011/09/16/when-pigeons-get-lawyers/</link>
		<comments>http://splarks.com/blog/2011/09/16/when-pigeons-get-lawyers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Sep 2011 19:53:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>splarks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bizarre Animal Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[animal humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[animal stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bird humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[law humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lawyer humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pigeons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poetry humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://splarks.com/blog/?p=421</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Eunice the pigeon did not live a glamorous life, but unlike most of her peers, she was determined to rise above her dreary roost in the parking garage’s concrete rafters. She didn’t mind the exhaust-filled space, or even the laughable “pigeon barriers” around her nest. “What I crave,” she lamented to anyone who’d listen, which in this case was her sister Barbara, “is to create a legacy, a memoir of avian city life and one pigeon’s brave quest to rise above the grit and grime and bring beauty and song to the world.”

Unimpressed, Barbara continued pecking at the cement traffic barrier. “So you want to be a storyteller,” she yawned. “Big deal. Pigeons have a billion of ‘em. I mean, Mom and Dad never shut up about the huge cicada they caught in ’06. Everyone’s a storyteller.”

“I want to be something different! I want to be … a writer!”  ....
Visit www.Splarks.com to read it all!


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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Why Zebras Don&#8217;t Use iPhones</title>
		<link>http://splarks.com/blog/2010/07/27/why-zebras-dont-use-iphones/</link>
		<comments>http://splarks.com/blog/2010/07/27/why-zebras-dont-use-iphones/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:59:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>splarks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bizarre Animal Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[animal fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[animal humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[animal stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[iphone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zebra]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zebras]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://splarks.com/blog/?p=402</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Marion? Oh, I do apologize, I was trying to reach … I'm sorry, what? A dating service, you say, for wild and frisky savanna mammals? Hmm … not that I'd be interested in such a thing, but if I were ...”  (This is an excerpt.  What exactly are those frisky mammals doing?  Visit splarks.com to find out)


No related posts.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Self-Help Thursday: Jefferson Starship Reveals the Truth about Impending Doom</title>
		<link>http://splarks.com/blog/2009/11/05/self-help-thursday-jefferson-starship-reveals-the-truth-about-impending-doom/</link>
		<comments>http://splarks.com/blog/2009/11/05/self-help-thursday-jefferson-starship-reveals-the-truth-about-impending-doom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>splarks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Alien Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny crap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny things]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny twisted humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grace Slick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor and]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor sites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligent funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligent humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jefferson Airplane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[really funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock band]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Starship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twisted humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twisted humor archives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weird humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[world domination]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://splarks.com/blog/?p=198</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I admit to liking some old Jefferson Airplane songs, but I fail to find kind words for its later incarnation, Jefferson Starship. Recently I was tortured with the song &#8220;Nothing&#8217;s Gonna Stop Us Now&#8221; and an alternate interpretation came to mind. Don&#8217;t you wonder what they&#8217;re really singing about? Let me tell you, friends, in [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://splarks.com/blog/2008/07/10/self-improvement-thursday-led-zeppelin-and-self-esteem/' rel='bookmark' title='Self-Improvement Thursday:  Led Zeppelin&#8217;s tragic lack of self-esteem, and how to rise above it'>Self-Improvement Thursday:  Led Zeppelin&#8217;s tragic lack of self-esteem, and how to rise above it</a></li>
<li><a href='http://splarks.com/blog/2011/04/14/self-help-thursday-sammy-hagar-tells-love-to-piss-off/' rel='bookmark' title='Self-Help Thursday: Sammy Hagar Tells Love to Piss Off!'>Self-Help Thursday: Sammy Hagar Tells Love to Piss Off!</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://splarks.com/blog/2009/11/05/self-help-thursday-jefferson-starship-reveals-the-truth-about-impending-doom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Self-Improvement Thursday:  Led Zeppelin&#8217;s tragic lack of self-esteem, and how to rise above it</title>
		<link>http://splarks.com/blog/2008/07/10/self-improvement-thursday-led-zeppelin-and-self-esteem/</link>
		<comments>http://splarks.com/blog/2008/07/10/self-improvement-thursday-led-zeppelin-and-self-esteem/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jul 2008 16:53:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>splarks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-Improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny crap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny poems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny things]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny twisted humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hey Hey what can I do lyrics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor and]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor sites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligent funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligent humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[led zeppelin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Led Zeppelin Hey Hey What Can I do]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[led zeppelin hey hey what can i do lyrics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[really funny stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[robert plant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[robert plant lyrics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock and roll therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock band]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock n roll therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[squirrel humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapy humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twisted funny poems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twisted humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twisted humor archives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weird humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://splarks.com/blog/2008/07/10/self-improvement-thursday-led-zeppelin-and-self-esteem/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome to Self-Improvement Thursday on Splarks.com! Although more critter tales are on their way, including an interview with El Chupacabra, this series is aimed at helping rock stars find inner peace. Today we&#8217;re visiting a problem from one of my (shush) favorite classic rock bands. Good Morning, Robert! I&#8217;m pleased to meet you and I [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://splarks.com/blog/2009/11/05/self-help-thursday-jefferson-starship-reveals-the-truth-about-impending-doom/' rel='bookmark' title='Self-Help Thursday: Jefferson Starship Reveals the Truth about Impending Doom'>Self-Help Thursday: Jefferson Starship Reveals the Truth about Impending Doom</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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