On a windy autumn night of my childhood, I dreamed that a tall young man opened a door in a tree for me. A dim blue light enveloped the stairs that led down the tree trunk. Uncertain but unwilling to turn away, I stepped inside. The cool air smelled of earth and rain, and my feet balanced on steps of thick roots. I held my hands over my eyes and peeked through my fingers, counting the steps as I descended.
One step
“He loves me.”
Two steps
“He loves me not.”
Three steps
“God’s Heaven.”
Four steps
“The Devil’s Grave.”
Five steps
“I’m awake.”
Six steps
“I’m a dream.”
And below was a wide tiled room with a rumpled bed and a window. Outside, the afternoon sun fell on the deserted highway, grass thrusting through cracked concrete. A red fox paused to cock its head at me before padding away, momentarily interested and summarily disappointed at the swirl of nonsense consciousness in the window: me.
The young man watched from the bed as I climbed out the window to my Yellow Brick Road, gray concrete under cartoon shoes.
When I was seventeen, I found a book by Harlan Ellison and Jacek Yerka in a used bookstore. Inside, I saw the tree, the blue light, and the stairs, and then I knew that I had dreamed someone else’s dream again.
***
Musical Inspiration: “Daniel” by Bat for Lashes. The Jacek Yerka painting I’m referring to is called “Amok Harvest”, albeit with the stairs leading up, not down. It’s available at his online gallery.
Photo: installation art called “The Raven and the Wolf” by artist Sharon Loper.
